Just Keeping Swimming

khaoskomix:

Banoffee Bars of Oozing Sex

Taken from this recipe: http://www.laurenslatest.com/banoffee-bars/

Read the recipe, decide you need proposed bars in your life. Go to the shops just to buy cream and toffee sauce to make said recipe. And a new pan because all of yours suck.

Add butter, flour and icing sugar to a bowl. Read ‘Softened butter’ and dismiss, instead add it straight from the fridge in a cold hard lump. Softened butter is for pussies.

Spend several minutes trying to cream the butter into the mixture. Give up and use hands hoping your warm flesh will help soften it. Cover hands in short bread mix, mix until hands are aching then declare ‘good enough’. Decide this is clearly karma for your misogynistic language.

Put foil in the bottom of the baking pan, oven at whatever. Add short bread to bottom and bake until kitchen smells nice.

Pour condensed milk on top of short bread, stick it back in the over. Drink some condensed milk from the tin like the scum you are.

While everything is baking decide to whip the cream for the top by hand LIKE A MAN.

Spend next 10 minutes with arm muscles screaming in agony as you beat cream up in a bowl. Learn to stop trying to prove yourself through more ‘masculine’ versions of a traditionally female hobby. Acknowledge that your mother clearly has much stronger arm muscles than you.

Eat whipped cream to counteract all the calories you just burned.

Check oven to find that top of base is now risen into a giant black bubble. Panic and remove it, pop bubble and be thankful the recipe has cream on top covering your failure.

Let bars cool while you bake banana bread because you wanted more baked goods in your life.

Get impatient, put dish in freezer.

Remove when cold, peel off foil, try to fit on a plate. Add slices of banana, whipped cream and decorate with toffee sauce.

Take amazing photo on camera phone, declare yourself god of sexy food.

Eat a ridiculous amount of them in a small amount of time.

…What do you mean, I still have most of a cake to eat? I totally have room to make this as well.

fyeahuniverse:

^{Living Volvox colony at 100x magnification, differential interference contrast, by Mr Wim van Egmond}

Volvox! These are super cool, right up until you read that the little green dots around the edge have eyes (kind of), at which point they become ever so slightly creepy but still really cool.

Hee hee.

(Source: biology-fun)

For such a short gif, that’s a lot of emotions you’re having there, Oshawott.

I’M ANGRY ooh a shell, ooh this is a nice shell, still angry though.

(Source: lukethoughts)